Goblin Nut Slayer

 

Despite the protests of the younger, less experienced adventurers behind her, the half-elf strode into the cave with seeming abandon.
"Wait!" Cried the meek girl behind her, "You don't know what's in there!"
The ranger scoffed a little at that and turned to face the girl.
The younger girl was dainty and seemed frail, her shoulder length orange hair framed her face in a manner that made her look even younger than she truly was.
She wore a long purple robe with some arcane scrawlings on it over a simple deep blue tunic. On her face she wore a pair of spectacles that seemed to magnify her already large eyes.
She looked every bit the apprentice mage she was.
The half-elf gave her a reassuring smile, after what this girl had seen it was only natural she'd be worried about anyone wondering into a goblin nest.
"Trust me, this isn't the first time I've cleared out some goblins. Don't worry about me and just keep an eye out for yourself alright?"
The ranger turned her attention to the mage's male companion.
He was about the same height as the half-elf, but even beneath his boiled leather armor you could see the bulging of hard corded muscle. The brawler was still a youth as evident by his smooth and hairless face.
The hair on the top of his head was black and kept short and spiked.
His eyes weren't much lighter than his hair and his coloration gave him a brooding, pensive aura.
"Same goes for you too."
With that the veteran turned back to the scared girl, gave her a wink and resumed her path into the cave.
The young mage turned to her the brawler who knew the dangers of the cave just as well as she did as if to tell him go do something.
He shrugged at her, "I mean look at her she's armed to the teeth.
The spear, that bow and a dagger. Plus all the odd trinkets she's got on her person.
She's confident in her ability and who am I to tell her any differently."
The mage huffed at that, clearly unsatisfied by his cop-out response.
They both hurried after the veteran adventurer not wanting to fall very far behind.
As they walked through the cave system, the mage couldn't help but look over ranger, she just seemed to half this aura of authority that drew the shy girl to her.
The half-elf had her raven hair in a ponytail with one of the bangs in an ornate braided pattern.
She had an armor that mixed fur and chain mail for something light and yet still protective. Around her waist she wore a fur skirt that protected and obscured her legs.
The mage's eyes drifted over to any part of her body with exposed skin.
The ranger was clearly well trained, her tanned body and corded muscle spoke of hard labor underneath the sun.
Suddenly the mage realized that the half-elf's piercing gray eyes were starring back at her,
"How long are you going to stare at me?" Said the veteran with a wink.
The young mage began to stutter and felt her face turn flush "O-oh, I was just erm…"
That got a laugh from the ranger,
"Don't sweat it, it's only natural you'd be curious about the gear of someone who's been adventuring for a while now."
"Y-yes." Was all the mage managed, who now couldn't bring herself to look anywhere else except the floor.
The ranger navigated the winding tunnel system with surprising efficiency, everything about her movements seemed practiced and deliberate.
The brawler was truly shocked at the difference between how quickly she was traveling through the goblin's nest as compared to how his own party had.
Then the veteran stopped for a moment, her pointed ears perking up at some noise neither of the other two could hear.
With a raised hand she bayed both of them to come to a halt.
For a moment all three of them stood in long silence with nobody daring to move an inch.
Suddenly in an explosion of movement the ranger tossed her torch far down the long passageway, landing with a clack and illuminating a small crevice previously not seen.
Both of the two rookie adventurers eyes widened.
The moment they had stumbled into the cave, the goblins were watching them, funneling them into choke-points, like lambs to the slaughter and then striking when their guard was down.
They had been the goblins prey. Not the other way around.
The brawler felt a lump jump into his throat and the apprentice mage barely stifled a cry when a goblin actually did scurry out from the crevice!
They were ugly things, their large heads tended to wobble above their undersized bodies. Their ears were long and pointed and their noses either bulbous or long and sharp were always oversized on their faces.
It wore little more than a ragged loincloth, exposing most of it's dirty and grimy green flesh.
With a cry the little creature charged the ranger with a club in it's hand, furious at having it' hiding spot exposed.
Panic filled the rookies at the sight of the creature, memories of their previous encounter flooded their minds.
With a smirk, the ranger readied her spear, holding it low to the ground to goad the creature in.
The goblin leaped for her, letting out a thunderous screech with its club raised over it's head!
Only too late did the goblin realize it's error.
The ranger snapped her spear up, the goblin couldn't evade the attack, having over commuted to it's own.
Sharp as a whip crack the haft of the spear came hurtling into the goblin's barely protected baby-makers!
*CRACK!*
For a brief moment the echo of the strike was the only sound that could be heard and it sounded down the entirety of the cave system.
The goblin's war cry shot up two octaves and turned into something more of a pathetic squeal.
Blinding, white-hot pain coursed through the lower half of the goblin and it began hopping up and down while holding it's floppy, bruised plums in an attempt to soothe the pain.
Even though it was a loathsome goblin, the brawler couldn't help but feel for the creature as he knew just how terrible that male pain was.
The young mage could hardly process what she was seeing, she knew it hurt boys to be hit between the legs but she never thought to use that sort of tactic against monsters.
While the goblin was holding its aching nads, the practiced ranger used the end of her spear to slip under and pull off the creatures filthy loincloth.
Out flopped the creatures now low hanging fruit, exposed and now much easier to target.
Before the goblin could catch it's breath further, the ranger knocked the creature's legs to the side with her spear.
Once again the goblin found itself in a position were it's legs were spread and the deadly warriors weapon laid right underneath it's goblin-balls!
*WHAM!*
Again, quick as lightning came the spear haft right up, the hard wood squashing the goblin's man-berries.
The attack hit the creatures nutbag right in the middle, causing the creatures balls to bulge out on either end.
The DNA-containing orbs struggled hopelessly for anyway out from the crushing pressure beneath them.
The goblin's shrieks again reached a new octave as new waves of nut agony enveloped its whole lower half..

This time the little green creature fell to the ground and curled up into a ball and began to convulse from the pain.
The ranger then let her spear drop to the floor and approached the downed goblin.
Both the other party members began to protest but were brushed away with a wave of the hand
"Trust me he's not gonna get up anytime soon! He's completely harmless at this point. But I'm not done with him yet."
With that she turned her attention back to the goblin, leaving the two rookies to exchange nervous glances between each other.
The veteran crouched down next to the floored goblin who was still squeaking in pain and cradling it's aching gonads.
Goblin's weren't particularly strong on their own and this one's strength was being sapped by the blinding agony radiating from it's groin so it was an easy task to swat it's hands away from it's nethers.
With that the half-elf got her hands in a vice grip around the goblin's knackers.
She gripped the goblin's ballbag with crushing pressure and looked at the creature's ever widening eyes.
At this point the rookie brawler couldn't help but cover his own groin in fear and sympathy pain, drawing a giggle from his sorceress companion.
The ranger kept up her iron grip and spoke to the goblin in it's strange and guttural language.The goblin seemed to respond in part words and the other part in shrieks, pointing down the winding cave and making wild gestures.
Another stream of words from the ranger and the goblin barked out it's response.For a moment the ranger relaxed her grip and the goblin seemed to catch it's breath, tears in it's strange goat-pupiled eyes.
Suddenly before the goblin could recover the ranger redoubled her squeezing, digging her fingers into the battered testicles of the creature.
The goblin's eyes began to roll back into it's head as the pain radiating from it's nuts spread into its gut and down to its feet.
"Just....a little...more!" Growled the ranger as she squeezed down with seemingly infernal strength.
*SPLUUURT!* *SPLAT!*
Both the goblin's balls gave out, and were ground to paste underneath the half-elf's prodding fingers.
The goblin completely passed out, the pain of being neutered overwhelming the creature's brain.
"Gods couldn't you have just slain it normally!" Shrieked a now obviously terrified brawler.
The ranger looked at him and gave him a quizzical look,
"This is just the most effective way, it takes them down the fastest and on the off chance one lives and gets away...Well it won't make anymore goblins to worry about." With that she laughed and went to pick up her spear.
"Oh! That actually makes a lot of sense!" Beamed the mage, enamored with how well the confident half-elf handled herself.
"Plus when I think of what they've done to their captives. Pretty much every goblin deserves that anyway."
With a renewed pace the ranger began making her way down the winding tunnel once more.
"He told me which paths to follow and if his information is accurate, there should be about four more goblins up ahead."
The mage looked at her in shock, "Wow! I thought goblin's weren't really the negotiating sort."
"Well they'll practically do anything you ask if you've got their balls in your hand. All I had to do was tell him I'd spare his baby-makers if he squealed on the other goblins here. I might have lied to him but hey I got my information!"
The brawler couldn't believe what he was hearing, his stomach had began to hurt just from seeing the torture the goblin had been put through.
Was this ranger really some seasoned hero?
Further into the tunnels they delved, their first set of torches beginning to burn low.
"These damn things are like labyrinth." Remarked the brawler.
The ranger nodded, "It's the most common type of goblin home. They like any place they can lure prey in and lose its orientation. Remember, goblin's aren't the fair fighting sort, they'll kill you when your guard is down."
"Heh, you don't sa-" The brawler's words were cut off by a noise behind them.
Out rushed another goblin from an previously unseen passageway, trying to ambush them.
This one rushed up to the brawler, who went to kick at the thing on instinct.
His strong leg swung over the head of the goblin.
As his limb sailed over the creature he realized something different about this goblin.
It was a female.
Now perfectly exposed, the female goblin swung her club directly into the brawler's balls!
*THWACK!*
The thick gnarled wood slammed right into the adventurer's balls, flattening them against his pelvis and making his eyes water.
His stomach churned and his legs started to shake as soon as the excrutiating nut pain flared up.
Still he managed to gather himself enough to catch the goblin's crudgel and lift the weapon and it's bearer into the air.
With focused anger he punched the goblin directly in the stomach, slamming it against the adjacent wall and disarming it.
The goblin slid to the floor and didn't make any more movements.
The brawler let the club clatter to the ground and took a deep breath to compose himself.
As he looked up he saw the goblin leap for him, this time she had a dagger in hand.
The tiny goblinoid had launched her whole body at the warrior and her knee landed smack on the adventurer's tender jewels.
*BAM!*
It was enough to take him off his feet on onto his back. He lie there for a moment groaning from the pain.
The cry escaped his lips before he even knew he was making a sound,
"Oooohhhhhhhh"
His senses snapped back when he felt a sharp point against his groin.
The brawler screamed when he saw the goblin had placed it's dagger just against his balls and was taking aim.
The goblin reeled the weapon over its head and then stabbed down at the adventurer.
In that moment the brawler couldn't help but flinch at the oncoming horrific pain.
"NOOOOO!" He screamed as loud as he could
He heard something fly through the air just above him and yelped again as his balls suffered just a knick from the knife.
When he opened his eyes again the blade had stabbed through his trousers but only just pierced his scrotum and the goblin lie dead on the ground with an arrow in its heart.
The brawler turned around to see the ranger rush over and pluck the arrow from the downed goblin.
"Watch yourself better next time!" She said sharply..
The boy hardly heard her words as the pain from his groin flooded over him and his vision blurred.
Then he could no longer stay conscious and his head smacked against the stone floor with a hard
*clack!*
In an instant the ranger had her bow drawn again, checking everywhere for any other signs of goblins.
"What should we do!" Cried the obviously shaken mage.
"We'll have to go on without him, don't worry, I doubt they'll be anymore scouts coming down this passage. Well just have to clear all the other ones out ourselves.
Again they set off down the corridor, the mage giving occasional glances back towards her downed companion.
That's when the shy girl realized she had been this deep into the cavern before, this was close to where they had to live the other girl of the party behind.
As she scanned over everything she saw two shapes up ahead of them,
one was smaller and the other lie flat against the floor.
It couldn't be, She thought to herself before running in that direction.
"Hey wait!" Cried the ranger behind her.
The apprentice mage rushed over to the shape on the floor.
It was the cleric of her party! She had been left in the same spot!
The mage's heart sank when she saw what the goblin's had done to her.
Her clothes had been completely torn off and scars covered most of her body.
The blonde cleric's breathing was incredibly faint but she was *alive*
Now filled with adrenaline, the mage recognized this in all but an instant and turned to face the other shape near her.
It was another goblin, which had its tongue lulled out of it's mouth and was just pulling up it's loincloth.
A new found anger burned in the apprentice mage and she turned her fury to an approaching goblin.
It rushed at her, drawing a shortsword that gleamed cruelly in the dim light.
Before she knew what she was doing, the mage thrust forward with butt-end of her staff.
*CRACK!*
The goblin squeaked in pain as it's nuts were jabbed back against its body by the staff!
The green-skinned creature reeled back in pain and looked as if it were about to swoon.
With an outstretched hand the mage began casting a spell.
Arcane energy gathered at her finger tips, a low crackling could be heard as the power built up.
"Magic Missile!" The redhead cried pointing her hand towards the goblin's bruised groin!
Twisting translucent bolts of energy streaked through the air for a moment before each one simultaneously struck the goblin's balls!
*BAM!* *BAM!*
The first bolt was enough to blow the goblin's loincloth clean off!
But before it could even recover from the first strike, the second bolt struck the goblin cleanly in its nutbag!
After the dust settled, the goblin stood for a moment, staring at the mage with narrowed eyes.
It's entire sack had been destroyed by the arcane spell, where once dangled its ballsack, now hung open air.
There was a pause that felt like it went on for an eternity and then the goblin fell flat on it's face and stopped moving.
The veteran adventurer eventually caught up to the mage and clapped her on the shoulder,
"That was pretty good rookie!"
The mage turned around and gave her a smile but it faded quickly, "I have to get her out of here."
"I understand, get the other guy out of here too while you're at it, I'll handle the rest of this."
"Uhm Miss." Managed the mage, as the ranger turned to leave.
"Yes?"
"Be careful"
The half-elf woman smiled, "Don't worry about me dear, they should fear me more than I fear them."
Now it was just the ranger, she couldn't help but admit to herself it was nice to have an adventuring party like she used too.
Oh well
She thought, I've done this sort of thing plenty of times alone too, now I have to get some payback for that poor cleric.
She took out a luminescent green rod from one of the pouches at her belt and used it's soft illumination to see.
Quiet as the shadows the ranger slunk down the rest of the winding passageway. Eventually the path opened up into a larger chamber.
With the dim light from her firefly-stick she could just make out two figures.....one seemed much larger than usual.
"Must be a hobgoblin or even a bugbear." The ranger thought to herself.
She didn't give it too much thought though, now was a time for action.
A flick of the wrist sent the glowstick tumbling past the smaller figure drawing its attention.
With the whole chamber now bathed in the gentle green glow she could easily make out the goblin and it's larger hobgoblin companion.
With practiced swiftness the woman unslung the bow from her shoulder and knocked an arrow.
She only took a moment to aim and then let the arrow fly.
CHOOM
The missile sailed swift and stuck true.
The goblin's nutbag was pierced and pinned the creature to the floor.
With a horrible shriek the goblin began to squirm and struggle for freedom.
In it's panic the creature tore off it's loincloth, allowing the archer a better look at her shot.
It had pierced above both balls but had completely torn through the flesh it had struck.
She saw her opportunity and ran further into the chamber with her knife drawn.
*SHNICK!*
With a swift flash of the knife, the goblin's whole meatbag was severed just below the arrow!
That was another one incapacitated.
All this happened before the hobgoblin even could process what was occurring but now it had its bearings about it!
An odd sight with it's orange skin the creature stood taller than the ranger by about a head.
It drew a longsword from it's side and grinned cruelly at the warrior before it.
The ranger decided to strike first, she rushed in and stabbed at the beast with her knife multiple times.
Each thrust was easily slapped away by the flat of the hobgoblin's blade.
This creature was stronger than ordinary goblins and clearly had honed its own combat skills.
It was the hob's turn to go on the offensive as it struck out with the longsword.
The ranger just barely managed to avoid the sweeping slash, earning her a knick on the cheek.
The sting of the wound took her attention away from the goblinoid for only a moment.
But that was enough.
The ugly, orange-skinned creature tripped up the feet of the ranger with its own leg, causing the woman to fall flat on her back.
Even the seasoned warrior started to feel alarmed and shaky when she saw the hobgoblin standing over her.
The creature seemed to be enjoying itself, licking it's lips with perverse intention.
It bent down and ripped away her the fur skirt about her waist and the cloth underneath.
Now her bare slit was only covered by one of her hands, the rest of her nude body lie out and exposed.
The hobgoblin held the sword in one hand and slid off his own garments with the other.
The vile creature reached out for her leg in an attempt to spread them.
The ranger's smile came back then as she saw her chance.
Her leg shot out and her heel crushed the creatures dangling balls back against its body.
The hobgoblin let out a pained groan as its squishy eggs were pressed underneath the heel of the ranger.
The seasoned warrior ground her heel back and forth, twisting and churning the jewels redoubling the pain over and over.
She reeled her leg back once more and then launched it into the goblinoids, dangling orange balls once again.
It squeaked in pain and stumbled backwards, clutching its cracked almonds.
They had already started to swell and turn an obvious purple color.
"Ooooooh. Poor guy." Said the ranger with mock sympathy, crossing her legs and mimicking the bent over position she had seen so many males take after being cracked in the nads.
The anger at being mocked blocked out the screaming pain in the hobgoblin's baby-makers for a moment.
It lunged at the half-elf, both it's hands outstretched to choke her.
She ducked out of the way of the creatures grasp and kneed it right in it's now low hanging grabs!
*WHACK!*
Her bony knee easily squashed the jiggling orbs, pressing them mercilessly against the creatures pelvis.
The creature started to shudder and stumbled falling flat on it's back.
This time the half-elf was quicker and her stomping foot found the creatures balls before it could cover them up.
"Well....." She chuckled in between long breaths, "Not a boy for much longer!"
She kept stomping the hobgoblin's nads against the rough stony floor.
Each brutal slam of the heel, causing the testicles to lose just a little more of their defined shape.
*SMACK* *SMACK* *SMACK!!!*
The hobgoblin was howling now, half choked screams of desperation to spare it's virility.
The ranger didn't care, she let the goblinoid look over her whole nude lower half as she stomped it's male organs into the dirt.
She took joy in watching the foul thing stare at her perfectly smooth slit as it's own dangling genitals were pulverized.
"Sorry," She said with that same tone of mock sympathy, "Just be born better next time!"
With a wink she brought her foot down on the creatures, mostly deflated balls.
*SPLORT!*
She felt both of the tender orbs explode underneath her foot, she pulped the remains with her foot just to make sure the thing was fully castrated.
The hobgoblin's head fell to the floor and it passed out, either into unconsciousness or an even greater sleep.
The half-elf didn't care to check.
She gathered herself and wrapped herself in what little clothes of hers she could salvage and began her her way out of the cave.
When she finally saw the mouth of the tunnel system, three figures were standing to greet her.
It was the adventuring party, waving and cheering for her as she walked towards them.
The mage ran up to her with the cleric following closely just behind her.
It seemed the cleric was even shier than the mage for she was gripping onto the back of the arcane spellcasters robe and spoke with her head towards the ground.
"T-thank you so much for saving me."
The ranger gave her a smile, "Hey no need to thank me for doing the right thing."
"A-also we were wondering if...uhm..maybe we could."
"Join you." Said the brawler, finishing the cleric's sentence for her.
The half-elf laughed, "It's been a long time since I've had a party to adventure with," She looked at them all long and hard for a moment, "Alright, I suppose it couldn't hurt."
The three rookies let out a small cheer.
"I guess this means we should finally introduce ourselves properly!" Exclaimed the mage, a bubbliness returning to her demeanor.
"I'm Myra, the dummy who almost got himself killed is Tormat-"
"Hey!" Cried the brawler "You could at least show me a little sympathy
"Aaaand," Said Myra, ignoring the boy's words "Our cleric's name is Stepphe."
All three of them looked expectantly at the half-elf.
"Names Lathriel, don't forget it."
And with that the half-elf turned to make her way back towards civilization, her new party in tow.